Lancelot

   
unclaimed memories  
stifling the mist  
of the ghost ship  
of my mind    
   
the abandoned car  
on the side of a desert road  
with shattered glass    
and sandy mirrors    
   
the frayed lavender scarf  
in the library lost and found    
fading along with loved    
and irrelevant texts    
   
rotted fruit  
forgotten to be consumed  
letters in invisible ink of the heart --    
   
the past is not mine  
   
yet it surrounds me  
choking the present:  
do I feed or neglect    
the beast?  
   
do I entertain other avenues    
of choice  
or accept how fate's wicker wheel    
spins . . .    
   
I can't keep revisiting  
the ship graveyard    
   
I can't keep stopping    
at the side of a desert road    
   
I can't keep gripping  
the scarf he wrapped me in    
   
resisting the greatest temptation  
that graces my neck    
like the passion of breath:  
did I make the right decision?    
   
there were Knights before you    
some separated by oceans    
I chose confinement in the ivory tower  
of monotony and loneliness    
   
while you fight on distant shores  
the battles of manhood    
responsibility and obligation intertwine  
you are an honorable king  
   
but the Arthurian romances    
of a time gone by  
has forged a moat around my heart  
you cannot cross if I don't release    
   
the drawbridge.