deepundergroundpoetry.com
untitled-i really wasnt feeling this so if you to help me rewrite it just message me-
My heart ripped from my chest...
smashed in front of my eyes.
You stand there laughing while i lsy here and cry.
Your a monster, a soul snatching monster.
how did i ever come to love you?
my eye's strain to see your hand before it comes to my skin painfully.Why are you pretending to love me.
Your love hurts and so does mine with this gun ill show you how much i....love...you -click click boom-
smashed in front of my eyes.
You stand there laughing while i lsy here and cry.
Your a monster, a soul snatching monster.
how did i ever come to love you?
my eye's strain to see your hand before it comes to my skin painfully.Why are you pretending to love me.
Your love hurts and so does mine with this gun ill show you how much i....love...you -click click boom-
Published 6th Sep 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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6th Sep 2011 6:24pm
n times wen we r not sure
& da mental strain bcums 2 gr8 2 endure
wen we think ders nowhere 2 turn
& dat feeln nside jus burns & burns
wen it gets 2 da point where u want 2 pic up da gun
wen da unthinkable bcums da only thing we want dun
wen these thoughts arise we must think about our Life
dats wen we must get down on bended knee & seek assistence from Christ....
wut u rote was hot boo....i dont think u need 2 change a thing....if dats how it came 2 u n da moment den it is jus as it shud b....unless of course u didnt finish it....lol
& da mental strain bcums 2 gr8 2 endure
wen we think ders nowhere 2 turn
& dat feeln nside jus burns & burns
wen it gets 2 da point where u want 2 pic up da gun
wen da unthinkable bcums da only thing we want dun
wen these thoughts arise we must think about our Life
dats wen we must get down on bended knee & seek assistence from Christ....
wut u rote was hot boo....i dont think u need 2 change a thing....if dats how it came 2 u n da moment den it is jus as it shud b....unless of course u didnt finish it....lol
10th Sep 2011 00:27am
12th Jun 2012 3:39am
your grammar and spelling is atrocious. this a site full of intellectual poets and your ignorance makes my penis soft.
24th Aug 2012 00:55am
for one i dont care about your penis
two i know im not prefect at grammar im working on it and if you hate it so much then leave why are you a member on here
third thats why most of us are on here to WORK ON OUR POETRY FLAWS ITS FUCKING CALLED CRITISCISM FOR A REASON >_>
two i know im not prefect at grammar im working on it and if you hate it so much then leave why are you a member on here
third thats why most of us are on here to WORK ON OUR POETRY FLAWS ITS FUCKING CALLED CRITISCISM FOR A REASON >_>
