Why Teddy Bears Are Better Than Humans

 
They are always up for a hug
Not requiring sexual contact
Fur gives the best of hugs
They enjoy invisible food picnics
They enjoy the company of other bears
And various other fluffy animals
They are not encumbered by
The opinions of assholes or
The assholes with opinions
They have no need for politics
All soft toys were made equal
They don’t care about religion
But will hear your confessions
They do not, ever, discriminate
Race, colour, gender, preferences
They never talk too much
And appreciate that knowing silence
They never require feeding
But love it when you pretend
They do not fret or suffer anxiety
What will be will ultimately be
They never get depressed
Simply being makes them happy
They never moan or complain
Even when left unattended
They love unconditionally
Even when you stop loving them
They are good at keeping secrets
And never ever tell anyone
They will never cheat on you
There is loyalty with bears
They are always there for you
Completely without exception
When was the last time you met
A human being that managed
To be all of these things
I suspect; Never!