Depression

Depression depression why don't you get off of me  
I'm already the worst me  
Oh! How have I not felt happiness in so long like forever  
I try my level best but one thing or another n we are back together.  
 
Is it the bullying,sexual assault,my orientation or the mental sickness  
That I feel completely helpless n emotionless  
Feel like a liability I'm too much for everybody  
Used n manipulated like a toy, not cared for or loved by anybody  
 
21 years n counting of all the suffering n despairness  
Will I ever have  peace of mind and happiness?  
Please take me home to a place where I belong  
I can't take this any long !  
 
Everyday I feel like I don't even know me  
Nothing affects me no more I'm so done  
Trying to hold back but I have nothing to hold on  
All these demons in my head keep laughing on  
I feel like I'll be fucked up forever n on n on!