ODE TO CAROLINE WOZNIACKI (INSPIRED BY PINUP)

(Written after seeing nude photo of the tennis player carried in the Daily Star, originally produced for ESPN the Magazine, on 8 July 2017.)

O Danish girl, of Polish blood,
You are so fetching in the nudd,
Your Nordic blonde hair and clear skin
Could make Anglo-Saxon heads spin.

Despite what Danes to us did cause,
THIS one’s most welcome to our shores,
For she has come not to pillage, burn,
But best tennis placing to earn.

With racket as your sword  and shield
You could get us English to yield.
You could take Wimbledon by storm
With such a fit and perfect form.

You’re not shy to raise a racket;
What sounds come if WE were at it?
To you all my attentions swerve.
I have got two good balls to serve!

Come, join me at the Centre Court.
With you I would gladly ‘get caught’,
We could have beautiful children
If your ‘Yes’ to me is given.