happiness

You were so excited to tell me he was out of your life
And for a moment I felt a twinge of happiness
That crashed like the thunder that broke me in half
Cos you're not alone now that he's gone
And I'm not the one who lays next to you in the dark
There's no one next to me to hold in the dark
I cannot feel the joy you want me to feel
When I look around at the smiles all around
Their eyes are not looking at the one not on me
They cannot see how it casts pain upon me  
To know that none of that happiness is being felt inside me
That your heart will never feel like it wants to be with me
I'm sorry to spoil the moment you shared this good news
Revealing the secret that sorrow is my internal muse
But I know your eyes will never rest upon my poetry
Where hides the ashes of happiness for eternity  
 
I could say I'm happy for you and in misery for me
But I cannot embrace what has never been gifted to me