deepundergroundpoetry.com

The Last Battle In The Fading Light

I spilled my soul for you
Gave you my very essence
Cut my heart out and served it up on a platter of gold still beating

I gave you my entirety
I bore a child for you
For us
For
Love

My mind feels fractured now
So many facets burned to ash
Was I ever enough for you?

So many many moments of joy love and hope
Yet so many more of pain
You claim i was all you needed
But I was never truly enough for you

You are broken
I always seem to attract the broken ones
Probably because I'm just the same

I couldn't help you while I was so consumed by the ocean of broken moments I struggle to swim against each day

Then
When I finally realized that I had abandoned you in that ocean and went back to save you
You were already gone
Lost beneath the waves and suffocating beneath your own

It was already much too late
Yet still I NEEDED to fix us
I needed to breath
And in the chaos I freaked for a split second and lost you forever

You will never read this

And if you do you probably won't understand
You took everything from me in the end
Or so I thought

Until

You said you would do ANYTHING to get our son from me for good

Do you truly hate me to such an extent
Did you ever truly love me
What's left of my entirety will die in the moment you take him
And no matter how I try to prepare myself for it I will die over and over and over again
A zombie for sure
So dead that even the smallest ember will wither and cease to keep fighting

I will hate you forever if you succeed
Then there will truly be none of me
And I will no longer exist

Just like you wanted

I will be lost to purgatory
Searching for the door to hell
Since I will never find the light of heaven without my baby

And I will NEVER forgive you