Anger Over Pain

Implosion.
When the levels of anger, disappointment, frustration, and regret become overwhelming.

When you don't have the gas money to drive, the gym membership to climb, the friends to just give you a hug and say it'll be alright, or the ability to self soothe in some other appropriate manner...

When every song on the radio is irritating and grates on your nerves -none soothe the adrenaline out of your system or feed it till it's gone.

I just want to drive 90mph forever, and never stop. Just keep going till the rage passes. Till the pain goes away...

The feelings of regret, inadequacy, disappointment, fear, insecurity, and frustration...
Till they're gone. Drained away.
Till they're dead.

The frustration, rage, heartbreak, sorrow -when nothing works, this evil lurks -till I don't remember them anymore...

Stone faced. Lips quiver. Stiff jaw.
Pain giver.
Eyes bright. Hands tight. My facade.
Works every time.

No tears. No sound. Can't even cry when no one's around.
Too hurt. Too strong. Anger preferred. It's just so wrong...

Because anger is a Power Emotion, and hurt just seems so weak,
If I'm angry I have a facade of control, but if I let the hurt in it's like a retreat.
I'm not a coward so I face the pain,
I just sometimes wish the tears would pour like rain...