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Linger On; Valentines Entry: Love's Acronym
(This poem is an extended acronym, read the first letter of each word as a sentence)
Navigating
our
vitality;
every
moment
bounds
every
reality
Together
we
entwine,
neglecting
time
yearningly
Constructing
abiding
memories;
eliminating
reveries,
our
necessities
regrettably
acquires
youth
Amorousness
never
deceives
Two
ambitious
souls;
however,
always
dissolve
aground
-vitiating
in
every
sound
Wanting
inevitable
loss;
love
grows
embossed
together
Matrimony
awaits
religiously,
rendered
in
every
delivery
Cameron Ray
Tasha Davies
Published 17th May 2017
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17th May 2017 1:35pm
First, welcome to the Deep Side. We hope you enjoy your stay here.
This is a very intriguing write ( I take it by the ending, i.e. - names, that this was some type of tribute to either marriage or the proposal thereof? Maybe even vows or printed napkins? ).
I enjoyed the opening reference to moments binding reality vs the past or future, followed by the neglection of time in desire ( when it seems to fly ). Then it seems to weave itself throughout the building of memories and the core relationship.
I know you're only seeking friendly feedback; however, I'd point out the below, which tripped up my flow.
our necessities regrettably acquires youth ( <-- require* )
Again, welcome to the Deep Side.
This is a very intriguing write ( I take it by the ending, i.e. - names, that this was some type of tribute to either marriage or the proposal thereof? Maybe even vows or printed napkins? ).
I enjoyed the opening reference to moments binding reality vs the past or future, followed by the neglection of time in desire ( when it seems to fly ). Then it seems to weave itself throughout the building of memories and the core relationship.
I know you're only seeking friendly feedback; however, I'd point out the below, which tripped up my flow.
our necessities regrettably acquires youth ( <-- require* )
Again, welcome to the Deep Side.
17th May 2017 9:23pm
The entire poem is an acronym. I used acquire, as it personifies 'necessities', which I needed because the A makes my last name, Ray. If you look at the first letter of each word it would make a sentence.
