the pain of feeling

Why do feelings have to be so painful as if pain is all we can feel
even when we love it leads to pain
when we hate it leads to more pain
we can't seem to win when it comes to the pain
the pain that inevitably accompanies feelings
I look down at my chest and wish I could rip my heart out
nothing could possibly feel this bad death would be a step up
Being alone hurts so we crave company
the company kills us and we wonder if we are cursed to feel
Feel the need for love for friendship and all the things that naturally disappoint and leave us wondering why
why does my heart have to feel so
much
they say love is the best feeling and I guess its true
 But I have been hurt so much I can't even enjoy the bliss
I know the happier I am right now the more it will hurt when it finally happens
When love disappoints again and again and again
Just like it always has
so why do I have to feel
Why can't I just be