"News Junkie"

Hustle, grinding, running, texting,
stop the headlines: "Cops are sexting!"
Reporting news to feed the beast,
chat up dudes I like the least.

Losers in their suits and tans,
interviews and shaking hands,
chasing dreams, the breaking story
bury boring, lead with gory.

If it bleeds then it will lead,
feed the folks just what they need,
kick the bastards when they're down,
build a church and burn the town.

Stick your mic in frowning faces,
jetting off to awful places.
If you're a female..(don't get old!)
that sweet-heart-deal will be annulled.

You'll then be branded like a cow
and featured on: "Where are they Now?"