dealing with bad days

 
 
i am still trying to find myself in onion hearts peeling bits of membrane away trying to figure out which pieces are okay to keep but maybe i am just the leaf just the boiled soup base the fertilizer the odor that brings the snot and tears
but it is more like i am swimming in mud with mud inside me
i am trying to open my eyes a little wider because now the sun needs help to make them glimmer it's like they turned gray one day and decided i looked better without my youth
i am waiting for a second wind
or at least something that would allow me to differentiate the clean clothes from the dirty
i still hate dressers
some things never change