Oblivion

My brain is in overdrive,
Spinning, whirling, constantly.
I long for oblivion.  
Looking at the bottle in my hand,
I know I should put it down,
Put it away,
But oblivion calls my name.
I long for the sweet surrender
To my darker self,
To the person alcohol makes me.
Free from my own mind,
Feel to feel, free from inhibition.
I am free.  
The taste turns my stomach,
But I need the freedom it brings.
I drift into oblivion, sip by sip,
Becoming who I long to be.  
But this isn't me.  
Reckless, stupid choices
Reap consequences when I wake.  
I swear I'll never drink again
But it never lasts.  
Oblivion calls my name
And again, I surrender.