Paperman

Its 4:54 am
Another early morning with you on my mental
Retracing our old steps, going back through old text
You see those marks?
I guess you had to skid too
No communication with you...
But I assume from society that it's all for the best
Past loves,past cheaters,instagram post,and false friends
All advised me that you were just like the rest
I try to subdue my thoughts
And release this idea that God has placed injustice upon me
Not even talking about abuse, pain, stress,nor rape
But only because he took you from me...
I've been waiting to get over you
Waiting like late flights and late friends who I might as well realize are never gonna come...
My inability to learn from repetitive lessons
Has convinced me that I'm either desperate or dumb...
Trying to reach to you at times
Through memories, through what my heart tells me...
Through unsaid words and messages
Through birds carrying letters and telepathy...
Still trying to reach you though...
Its proving to be ineffective but stop? I don't think I can...
Write to you every day
Fell in love with a paperman...
No evidence that you were ever real
No pictures taken, these old text seem photoshopped
Can't recall when you loved me, only see old poems
But my love for this paperman, still, does not stop...
Love so strong that it instills fear in me
Would do anything you asked when your last words to me was that you don't care...
But I can't waste my passion, it's foreverlasting
And all I'm asking is that you be right here...
I tried to say fuck you
But the words burn my mouth like acid
And this voice in the back of mind told me
If there was an opportunity to share my love with you, I'd happily grab it
Pathetic, I know
But I'd still chase you to the ends of the earth in hoping that somehow we'll intertwine
And these old poems and these old notes
Will no longer be the only evidence that you were ever mine
My paperman...
As I slip into my dreams
Scattered hopes and fantasies about you spin in my head...
My paperman...
5:27am
Another morning writing to you in bed...