As time passes.

Dancing alone at night, till dawn,
Trembling, shaking uncontrollably, I'm weak and really cold, so fucking cold..  
Starting to feel more and more like a drug addicted pawn, like a stray , hungry dog,
But sadly, I don't eat anymore..
My features are changing, I ain't myself, a heartless monster is slowly being born..
I cannot quit, there is no stop, murdering my self with passion, enjoying the scars left by the blood clots,
tick tock tick tock, I'm going down, tasting the ground, my roots are stuck and infested,
I can defy you all, but not the clock..
My bones are breaking, my skin is torn,  
Shameless blaming, pointing fingers in every direction with anxiety and tension, cause there's no escaping this box,
burning desire for pain, destruction tastes so sweet, and smells like heaven, depression at its peak, paranoid of guns and knives becoming alive and piercing me,
it hurts, but they cannot kill the guilt that is shut deep within electric fences and sirens and shit...  can I forgive myself?
I ask the shattered mirror within my trip , no, it utters, as I charge towards it with tears in my eyes.. shattered glass,
is all that remains, as I hopelessly try to provide love, desperately trying to pick up, each and every broken part...  
watering flowers with piss, feeding you with empty lies, my tragic stare as you see me fall,
is the only aspect that's real in me, the only truth you've ever been told..  
I know that I'm on my own..  
I know that people are mourning the man that's gone..
So tragically wrong.. strangling all that grows, the rope gets tighter round my neck, oxygen is running out, I'm out of breath,
whatever, I don't need it anyway, my breath stinks , I better drown myself cause I cannot stand the smell..
For this is a dark , twisted morning, kinda feel likes hell, no wonder I'm tired, the nightmares have kept me awake all night long..
I'm sorry, but I no longer feel like I can go on..

Is this the end? I don't know, perhaps, it hardly matters anymore, no fucks given whatsoever, don't need no friends.
The pain in my guts and my lungs keeps me occupated, as my heart dies slowly , I ain't got no laughter left,
What have I become? I think I'm dead,
I'm dying right in front of you motherfuckers,  
How can you not understand the fact that I need help? Please help me, please God help me
I beg you , I beg you to forgive me , I have become something else you are unable to comprehend,
A shadow, grinning as I  silently strip you of your possessions, like a bitch who done some petty theft,
 a thief and nothing more , stealing your youth cause mine's gone.
Devilish scheming, sinning, fucking shit I'm SICK of eating, I'm tired of it all.
CHEMICAL ADDICTION.
The fact that the ones I love keep getting manipulated and hurt is too much for me to bear,  
Please let this be fiction. Help me, I'm too far gone.
I'm losing my mind. Relapsing again. No one hears my cries disguised behind frantical laughs and subtle signs.
Family is ruined and trust is destroyed , always coming back home to you, the bitter truth, I got scissors in my shoes,
and I prefer to be alone with my grinding teeth
Sleepless, shameless, twisting and turning in bed, when will this end?
NOW , I think aloud in my head, again and again, as I contemplate kicking the stool,
But still, I seem to fail myself, beat myself methodically, kill myself arrogantly, abuse myself romantically,
 with the hope of ending this misery..
IN VAIN, is the thought that keeps me bound, living to die , aren't we all?
Obsessed with a crown of some sort, mine's got glass, and kinda feels likes thorns,
I enjoy my pain somehow, but I am getting weak, let's join hands together before I go to sleep,
Besides, it won't be long until I cannot hold your hand anymore,
or the pen.