The Meeting

It all came down to this
here and now,
the confrontation (or friendly meeting)
this moment in time...

You deceived and betrayed me
You murdered my soul
You took everything I was and
Destroyed it in a blink of your eye
I did not matter
I was nothing to you or her
Except in the way

But somehow I survived
Don't know how
Or why
I had my share of tries
Trying to escape this life.
But I woke up each time
Thinking that I succeeded and
this is hell I woke up in,
only to realise that this is reality…


Now here I sit with all these thoughts
In a strange city I don’t want to be in
A familiar coffee shop that I shared with you
Waiting with impending doom
For HER arrival,
To meet HER
Your mistress

Conflicting emotions warring
inside me for domination:
Fear and hate,
Disgust and betrayal,
Loathing and distrust.

What am I doing here?
I should never have come

But it’s too late to turn and run
As she walks in the door
Her eyes locking onto mine
And I can see the smug
Knowledge dripping of from her
And I wonder if she can see
The defeat in mine…

She knows.
She knows that I will never be number one.
She knows that she can take you
any time she wants
when it suits her...
She knows that I am here seeking
Acceptance as a human being
And she is not going to give it to me.

Hiding behind feeble words
Saying that she will not make me
any promises that she cannot keep
Cannot?
No. I think more will not.
No effort, will or desire from her side.

She tells me that she don’t trust you
That you lie and deceive
That you don’t know what you want
That you want us both…
How am I supposed to deal with that?

She accuse you of manipulation
with words and emotions
yet every word out of her mouth
is carefully thought out
to sow more seeds of distrust
to hurt more and breakdown
everything I tried so hard to build up


O god, how I hate this life!!!!
O god, how I hate her!!!!