It Didn’t - - - -  - - For the Depression Comp

 
Sitting in the lotus position
Meditating kind of, of sorts
Contemplating life’s meaning
Contemplating God’s presence
Still feeling nothing of sorts
The water is now coldish
Discoloured and reddish
I don’t feel cold despite the water
Despite my shaking I am not cold
I am no nearer my god to thee
And my sadness continues
I feel a quickness of pulse
I realise I will be sad to the end
I’m annoyed I just thought
The moment I slashed both
The sadness would disappear
It didn’t, it hung around
Like a bad unwanted smell
It hung round my neck like a rope
It still does, just feels tighter
My sadness deeper and heavier
Can’t even make it to the phone
I’m kinda sad about that too