my irish family

Fog rolls accross the medow,
The  sky grows cloudy.
the smell of wet wool,
And the sounds of people laughing.
familiar faces, old and young.
all gather round to laugh and sing,
family cheerful to see a long past due smile,
stew is boiling,
meat is cooking.
all smells wonderful,
all is warm.
but one heart is cold,
one heart is sad.
no one notices, no one would care.
a single pair of hazel eyes,
loses one silent blue tear.
why did i come?
why am i here?
I kept saying I would visit,
but not here.
Run to the loch, fall to my knees.
look into the eerily black water smooth as glass.
Look at the cursed one,
Look at the cursed sheep in the family and cry.