I want to text this man

I just want to text this man
Say I am sorry and come up with a different plan
God we vibed so well  
It hurts, my heart is beating so fast, it’s a rebel yell
I can’t take this, I want to break my own fingers, not to text this Kool Kat  
Throw my phone up and swing with a bat.  
My jokes and comments, were nothing but a defense
The last thing I wanted was this KAT to take offense  
If I would of known an open home  
Is where he wanted to roam, I would of thrown every door open, gladly
I didn’t just want to strip naked before him, I wanted to take my outer shell and expose my very soul
Through my own thoughtless actions, I feel nothing but low
I wanted to make love, laugh, talk about mudane shit with this man  
Of his brain, body and laugh I became a groupie, his biggest fan
I made fun of his bringing hot pockets
Because of my teasing I even mocked it
Now I open my freezer, unwilling to move them
See, something so small, insignificant is all I have, a tiny representation of him
My inner wisdom says, sometimes we have a limited time with people
I want to accept that, but my spirit has dived into a deep hole
I’ve waited so long for this type of connection
Waiting for a kind of man who would make me want to drop my armor of protection
Marley’s song “stir it up” was my jam, even before he came, I had gave it a listen  
Strumming these words  
“It's been a long, long time
Since I've got you on my mind
And now you are here, I say it's so clear
See what we could do, honey".  
 
But damn I was too stuck to even tell him
See he made my bluer days, a bit more sunny
God I want to text this man
Ask for a second chance, try a different plan
But I saw his last text, nothing but common niceties  
So I will bow out, sometimes this is life, you see?
My words of advice  
If a special man comes into your life
Drop your weapons, c’mom girl even the knife
Welcome him in your arms  
Whisper “stir is up baby”
and maybe you will keep him, just maybe
Damn, I want to text this man