the suicide letter sequel to annie marie

Why is it that we must find love? And why is it when you tell yourself you can’t find it that’s when it pops you in the face? Love is often the missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle, but sometimes the puzzle wasn’t meant to be put together. I couldn’t sit here and tell you why love ran away from me, nor could I tell why my heart gave up on love, if love was a dozen roses than my love would be a rose with thorns surrounding it. I couldn’t stand touching or trying to love something that so utterly hated my soul, I had often written poems about love, even though I wasn’t sure what it was, but I wanted to know and I tried to understand what it meant to love, but as you would come to expect my heart was burnt from this thing you called love. Even as I grew older my heart grew colder until it was as frozen as a rock. My pen often wrote words that made no sense to me, but when it was surrounded by love that’s when my pen had dropped. Suicide was often on my mind as it was a way out of my misery, but at the same tone misery had became my closet and dearest friend, misery was often the only emotion I ever felt. I had fell in love with misery and misery loved me too, whenever I was alone in my home in the countryside I would speak to my dear misery, I had came to realize that misery was the only one who cared about my pain and it helped to speak my mind. If I had told a doctor about my feelings for misery they would deem me insane, but I assure you I never felt more sane. This word you call love was merely just an empty emotion that nobody in their right fucking mind should ever feel. Just because someone tells you that they love you doesn’t make it true. But misery knew me much too well and there was never any arguments nor was I ever wrong, but in god’s eyes we are all sinners but in misery’s eyes I was just a man in pain, a man who needed the one no mortal could ever give and that was love, for love no longer existed in my vocabulary nor was it in my dictionary. Misery had spread her wings and flew me away and I no longer had to wait by her grave, nor did I have to wait to enter the heavenly gates. My wife and I were once in love until that dreadful day that lust stole her away from me and in doing so helped me find my dearest misery. My wife had often slit her wrist with a razor blade, I could not tell you why she committed such a sin upon her flesh, nor could I tell you what misery had whispered in her ear, for life she didn’t and although often I wasn’t there it was our blood she shared. The tears she cried were from the nights I left her side, for I had committed adultery one of the most worst sins known to man. She had every right to curse my name in vain for I had poison the very blood that ran through her veins and it was from the letter that she left on my desk became my undoing, it was my selfish heart and carelessness for this word called love that cast my wife away in a tomb by the sounding sea and soon it will become my tomb as well, for misery lives within me and I can no longer find it in my heart to forget the sins I have committed, so I must lie down next to my wife and end this so called life, walk hand in hand with my dearest misery, but know this no man truly ever loves nor will he ever love just one and I lost my heart and soul, had I known the truth from the lie I would still be living amongst you and my wife as well. Now I must flee below the sea and live with my beautiful misery.