Lately

Lately
I've tried desperately to delete me.
I guess it's not really up to me
to successfully destroy what did not create.

Truly
I do not take this life lightly.
O.k. maybe I do slightly.
Because sometimes I feel like a mistake.

Forgive me
This is not the best side of me.
Only the side that really hates me.
On my soul it feeds and is never slaked.

Believe me
If I could control this I would be.
Because I'm not into hating me.
But now it's much too late.

For everything I hear and everything I see,
tells no one here loves me but pain and grief.
For all the love I've given and all the love I've had.
A darker remnant I am now of
just a man eternally sad.