5: 81: You In Everyman

Excerpt 81 from Journal 5, 'Reaching My True Love'
  -from 'Journals To My True Love Part 2'

My Love, I have looked for you everywhere
  and never ceased to search...
When I thought I saw you I embellished the
  vision to match what I desired...
I knew it was an illusion but I did it anyway...
I needed it to sustain me...
What sustained my has now reached fruition
  and is on the verge of an onset of decay...
There will come a time when I will no longer
  search for you in everyman, but will accept
  that you were a stepping stone that fell away
  when I no longer needed it to grant me passage...
I passed over a turbulent river of my youthful
  needs and longings with your help...
I saw you in everyman and you came to life in them...
I learned to love them even in the absence of you
  by this observance of you in them...
There is a small part of you in everyman, I will
  always see that even in resignation...
Yet I will never resign to forget you completely...
You met me there where my dreams came to
  life in my written stories where you were so alive...
I inhaled you in both moments of ecstasy and pain...
We both aged together even as we were so far apart...
I felt you changing even as I was at the same time...
Nothing stays the same forever even captured under
  a glass vaccum jar to be preserved...
The glass grows dusty and yellowed and the view
  of what is inside does too...
I let go of those old things as I see their antiquity
  grow and their usefulness fade...
What I needed then is no longer a requirement...
For I have grown into these harsh predicaments
  like a tree adapts to adverse conditions...
We all grow and change like a tree does, and the
  older tree provides more shade as it grows even
  knowing it is in decline...
That shade is the story of us which inspires us and
  will live on...
My Love, look inside that glass vaccum jar within yourself
  and see me there as I see you...
Hear the silence as my voice is muffled by your
  containment of me in this fashion...
Let us commune in this silence and knowing; we
  see each other everywhere as within; for our visions are
  fixated on each other in everyperson no matter what
  outer views we observe...
We are free to love openly even as we feel the ebbing
  away of each other; the freedom fuels this love...
The bird still loves what is on the ground even as it flies
  endlessly south away from it in preparation for winter...
It has enjoyed what the ground provided it even as its
  wings grew stronger in passivity and it remembers that...
You are like an updraft under my wings, My Love, to
  enable my flight of freedom from you and the past
  you represent as so am I under yours...