I'm A Dirty Little Sex Addict (Based on True Events)

Dressed for sex        
in your Sunday best        
I sneaked inside your        
womb.        
Dressed like a postman        
For comic effect        
I scattered random envelopes        
containing the torn up        
love letters I wrote to you        
in my youth.        
The truth was our sex life        
had reached its sell by date        
and now it was time          
for something different.        
you refused ideas        
of kinky bondage        
and dressing in leather,        
now it was time to        
return home and        
think of something clever.        
What else was that poking        
inside my satchel        
it didn't take a genius        
to guess.        
You liked the batman costume,        
but the postman outfit        
you liked was the best.        
I delivered my length        
you called it a special delivery        
the soap suds from your naked body        
made our sex too slippery.        
like our love I held on          
for dear life        
as you reach your peak        
then laugh        
as my dick gets stuck        
in my trouser zip.        
You point,        
take snaps        
post it on facebook        
then pack it with ice,        
then I remind you          
that this postman        
doesn't always rings twice.  
The sound of the sirens
filled me with fear
how could I explain
my folly and sound sincere
Its my intention to tell her
I will have to admit  
For I am nothing more
Then a dirty little sex addict!.