What am i doing wright in my life

The truth I hold
The sarrow in my face
I told what i am
To who I truly trust
I have hoped for death daily
As i make myself bleed
I leave scars apon myself
What cost do I take
Who I do not understand
I fear
In the darkness I reside
Ive lied to save my life
In wasy that onely cause
Pain to myself and others
That makes me feal depressed
I pleed for understanding and meaning
I am constintly caught in the
Thaught of my loves and addictions
I am always searching for satisfaction
Now i regret the cataclisms
In my life I cause
After all that i walk threw
With a fake smile
Just to be asked "whats wrong"?
But I onely reply "nothing its all fine"
Im filled with the regrets of the lies
I told
As it eats away at my sanity
For I wish I could make it all
Go away
The dreams I have
That are remembered are disturbing
Some I only wish as a reality
But I find myself in my faults
Ive thaught of death as
A good thing for years
Ive know that I do not
Live forever
I take every advantage when I can
Its almost as if im an opertunist
With little self regret
And nothing to gain
I have thaught of ending my life
In ways that make
Being crushed seem sane
The emotions I hide
I truly do not understand
For I do not embrace life
Of its full potential
Love seems to be
The onely thing holding me together
Even though the thaught of suicide
Went faster than it came
Because of what I would cause
To my true love
Ive over riden my friends
And responsibilities
For love seperation hurts
But i found
That it cannot kill me
When I leave my life I want
To die in a glorious
Moment of live with
The one moment I trust above
All others
But love is not
The onely emotion I highly stress
And value
For hate consumes me
It fills and overpowers me
In times of grevience
and sarrow
The one thing I hate
Most in the world is
The erigant bastards that
Support war
Why kill millions for nothing?
But I seem  to be an
Anti social individual
I have tried so hard
And fallen so far
For I have
A dirty mind
I stress my atheism on
On the ones that preatch to
The friends they think they have
And the loved one they onely
Believe loved them back
But no one
No one No one No one
Understands me fully
For who and what I
TRULY AM