What Young Love Became

I remember when my heart skipped a beat
At the thought of you glancing at me
I felt so beautiful and wanted by you
You chased after me everyday
I played hard to get and oh the fun of it
Until we had each other at last
You treated me like a prize
Showed me off like a jewel
Made me feel like the center of your universe
We were younger then
I was prettier then
Thinner then
Happier then
We felt we could be anything we wanted
Anything in the world
We escaped from our childhoods
And got married young
We felt on top of the World
Like we could handle anything
Nothing could stop us
We went on feeling that way for a few years
College went on for you
It was hard for you to work and study
Your mother always said it would be
We thought we wanted this
Have we forgotten why we are here now?
Have we lost sight of why we fought the odds?
We piled up our debt
But is that why you don't see me anymore?
You don't look my way for more than a second
You don't look at me like you used to
Have I really changed that much?
I'm not as slender
Tummy not as tight
Hair not as long
Age not as young
I carried our baby
I gave birth to her
Was it too soon for you?
Did you feel you made a mistake?
Is she a mistake?
Am I?
You work so hard
You pull your back to provide
You stress everyday
I do too, but I can't show it
I pick out your outfit
I wash your clothes
I make your food; pack your lunch
I try to smile
Try to say it's okay
But we have forgotten why we are here
I remember your laugh
Your smile that I see so seldom
Our baby is beautiful
Will she have a good life?
Is my life over now that I have had her?
I don't look as good
Don't sleep as much
Don't eat as much
I forgot all about my own dreams my own hopes
It's all her now for me
You are a man
You have the chance to be anything you want
A child can't stop you
A wife can't stop you from noticing thinner girls
Girls with wide smiles and bouncy hair
Girls who laugh at your jokes and have no strings
Girls who flirt back
But you don't flirt with me
You don't tease me like you used to
You don't try to win my heart
I've already been used- is that it?
What's to be desired that you've already had
Time and time again
I gave my heart to you
I can't imagine loving anyone as deeply as I love you
I know you love us
I know you work hard
I can't tell you these things
You'll get sad
You'll feel bad
You'll get angry
Say it's my fault
Slam the door
Say you work hard
Say you are stressed
Say you don't have time
Time to hear my heart
Like you used to
Even if we had the world at our feet
Like we used to
Even if we had millions like we used to dream
Would you think I was your dream woman again?
Would you look at me like you did at 16?
Would you see me as beautiful?
As strong?
As the woman who holds it all together for you?
Who wants to make you happy?
The woman who waits at night next to you
Hoping you'll turn to her and see her
Want her
Notice her
Love her
Will you ever love her like you once did?
Is it just stress?
I tell myself it's just the stress
But the hole in my heart says you don't love me
Like you used to
Wildly
Fiercely
Truly
You don't like me like you did then
And I had to write this
When i realized how you flirted with her
Didn't deny you liked her
Just a little crush
You wouldn't cheat
It's not that
It's that I used to be that girl
The one you flirted with
Wanted
Now I'm just a wife
Doomed to be a slave to everyone's needs
But my own
I will always love you
I'll stay like I always do
But will you?