Youth

In sunnier times
The epoch of my youth,
I ran carelessly through fields of wild flowers,
And laughed until my heart would burst
Lighting up the Soul like Christmas.

Those were days I danced with Hope,
Held hands with Love,
And wandered drunkenly amongst the stars;
I floated the ether of my exotic Imaginings----
Never once doubting in Faith or wanting in Peace.

But as the years progressed
And I outgrew my summer dresses,
Pealing back the layers of my skin to emerge as Woman
I found myself lost inside the weight of this body--------

It became clear once the Clouds enshrouded me,
Amongst ferocious thunder claps and pitying rain
That the creature I used to be had died.

She was no longer alive,
Her heart had been broken----
Crumbled into dust;
For the one she thought she had loved,
Made her understand what it was to be woman:

You must walk straight,
Shoulders erect
Poised
While speaking in soft tones,
Gentle as a rose petal
Airy as a cucumber
Sweet as a freshly picked nectarine----
Always the perfect example of femininity.

Stupid really,
Now that I can see clearly:

Real affection does not demand submission
Nor does it play with fire,
Desiring its companion to be burned---
Gleefully cutting away at a person’s spirit.

No----
Real affection embraces the entirety of its confidant;
Such feelings are more than merely sentimental
They are understood and ardently felt----

It comes naturally like breathing.

And when such an epiphany struck me,
I understood that, perhaps, one day,
That part of me so cruelly murdered might rise again
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
When I meet a person who understands the beauty of my song
And the depth of my person.

Until then,
I shall mourn my youth
And all I lost with it----
While waiting patiently for my miracle:

A true friend to rely on.