Shadow boxing 1  ((not much of a poem more like a free write for me))

My inner demon is the part of me that stops me from being able to accept the person I am.
I have so many friends that, probably like me more than I like myself.
 some  qualities I do like
but  constantly feeling I'm  not as good as I  should,  or could be.
It's nerve wrecking

Oh i'm always trying to improve myself. 
But It sucks to feel guilty when good things happen 
Hating the doubt I feel, when knowing, I don't deserve any of it 
I'm  Hardly ever at my best state 
and I'm only worthy of a reward, when I'm actually someone I like being. 
It's kinda like anorexia. 
Underweight people feeling like they are never thin enough. 
I am just never good enough.

I try to fight this by focusing on what I do like about myself. 
It is really hard to be realistic and tell myself I am never going to be completely perfect.
 But constantly worrying about my inner battles?? 
 Why am i Unable to forget about my minor flaws?
 Fuck it all
Im just going  to seize the moment 
and slowly maybe I'll  gain self- acceptance.
If not I'll keep swinging
Until my arms get tired 
And I beat the emptiness 
There's always time on my side... 
Right??