Wishing you were here

 Your alleged favourite teddy bear
You know the one with little hair
He no longer talks to me
Like me he’s triple X rated
He lacks your hand up his bum
To make him animated
We both miss you, finding it hard to persevere
Wishing you were here

Our two seater sofa I no longer use
I’ve not yet found a good excuse
To sit like we used to sit
To cuddle and spoon
Eating chocolates, watching movies
In a warm duvet cocoon
Sitting in my easy chair hoping you’ll reappear
Wishing you were here

There’s a you shaped gap on our king size bed
I lie there alone, like sleeping with the dead
I toss and turn
Insomnia rules
I finally nod off
But it’s like April fool’s
Nightmares, nightly still appear
Wishing you were here

I still set out a place for you at the table
I’d stop the habit if I was able
I can’t get use to eating alone
Dinner time’s no longer fun
My appetite is shot and done
With my Birdseye frozen meal for one
Our dinning room now, has no atmosphere
Wishing you were here

The bathroom still smells faintly of you
I can’t lose that perfect bouquet
A mix of cheap perfume and salted cashew
Your toiletries still on the shelf
I feel the need to spray on myself
I fear they will soon run out
This is affecting my mental health
I need your aroma around and about
Don’t want the smell of farts and old beer
Wishing you were here

Our wardrobe full of all your things
From pink ball gowns to tight G-strings
I tried them on
But they don’t fit
I don’t look sexy
I just look shit
A friend thinks I'm turning queer
Wishing you were here

I really did love you
I really do miss you
Strangely;
Sharpening my bayonet
Cleaning my shotgun
My smile turning into a sneer
Wishing you were here