I Love You

Have you ever just sat there thinking about what it would be like if we were together? No?
I did once, but that was before I knew you would hurt me the way you did.
Talk to me almost everyday, then you disappeared after one remark. Why?
I will never understand what you wanted me to say.
Did you want me to beg you for something that may or may not have worked?
I'm sorry but I am not a needy person, like the rest of these people in this world.
I have to have my own time and thoughts, I don't need to cling to someone.
Yes, the first few stages of a relationship is clingy.neediness of wanting to be around someone
twenty four seven but i get tired of that after a week, I am the type of girl who needs to be left on her toes wondering what your next move will be, but if you choose not to keep me on my toes I
will disappear. What if it wasn't the right moment for us? What if we met to early? Do you think that can happen? I am starting to believe it myself. I would say I love you but it pains me to much to say it out loud to anyone, but they can see it written all over my face like a brightly colored picture.
When I see your face my world lights up like the four of July but once you disappear from my sight I fall back into this black abyss that no one can pull me out of. Am I truly in love? Did I finally meet the guy who can complete me? I am not sure because my heart is telling me to keep chasing you like a wolf hunting for his next meal, but my gut is telling me to run and hide like the prey that I am. Honestly, I don't like feeling like this, lost in my own thoughts wondering if you will ever come back to me. One day you will not come back because I may do or say something ridiculous again. I do not have the nicest personality of them all but some reason it attracts you. Why? What is so attractive about me? That want for coming back to see if I am ok or something else? I am not sure, can you please tell me what to do so I can figure out what I need to do before I drive myself insane. Insanity, as I hear a small chuckle appear out of no where in the back of my mind like a two year old child playing hide'n seek with her best friend. Whom, she falls deeply in love with as the grow older. But will she tell him? No, Because she is afraid of his reaction or his remark. Letting her guard down may be risky for her, but is it worth it? Is anything really worth it? Is sacrificing her heart really worth the pain in the end? Rejection. Oh she know's all to well. Through out her life that is what card that was dealt to her, mo matter the situation. Ever wonder why she was scared of that situation? Maybe you should take the time and talk it out so you can see the true sensitive side of  her. She may look like a vicious pit bull but deep down she is a huge cuddle but who really wants to be loved.