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came hard to justify

I drink, but not so much that I pass out in the gutter.
she smokes, but only at night, in the breeze by the window.

she paints abstracts of me as charcoal storm clouds above
indigo cresting waves: it�s how she sees my disturbing
passion, & all she knows of true love.

when I�m out of town, she gets anxious, so she spends the
nights with her artificial lover. it�s a subtle replacement for
the things we do in private.

she has a craving for a particular genre of female perversions,
& it�s in me to be that way. she�d have no use for a man with
soft hands. I�m harsh with her, yet careful to observe certain
limits. I will taint her beauty, but not destroy it. when she
breaks, she folds like a setting sun that will dawn again.

things that she does with her mouth & her tongue have me
enthralled; dirty acts she performed in idling cars after a date.
teenage rebel she was, & rebellious remains. her audacity is
such that I have no desire to seek those appetites in the
mouth of another woman.

we engage in our carnal aberrancies in the manner of wild dogs,
& when I come to my Ludovico expulsions, she reclines like
Cleopatra in her royal furs, & takes my various fluids as if they
were facial lotions. I leave her lying there, in that disgusting
mess, & go to the kitchen alone, to drink.

I�m not in love with her, but when I hurt her,
she figures it�s as close as she�ll ever come�

(Art: Carla van de Puttelaar)

Written by JohnFeddeler

Published 2nd Sep 2016

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Re. came hard to justify

Kasai

2nd Sep 2016 4:47am

' I�m not in love with her, but when I hurt her,
she figures it�s as close as she�ll ever come� '

Another stirring piece with the perfect shade of melancholy,
The artwork was a beautiful accompaniment...

Read poems by Kasai