Putting together a butterfly

Kneeling against these creaky doors,
Lazily carving incisions,
To take back my skin from the pain,
Then I decided to spew out,
A chalice of apparent relief,
And fall into the puddle,
Letting the tears benumb the stench,
My insides clenched onto the despair,
Pressing back against what has now turned to regret,
I trace a smile into the filth,
And she had leftover pills for eyes,
A chuckle escaped,
And I almost fell in love with the curves,
Conjoining that feckless grin,
There was alas,
Not big enough of this canvas,
To draw her a bubble,
For her to say I love you too,
I plucked a figment of my distorted thoughts,
Solace is a forgone conclusion so,
I lit a match in my lungs,
The fire charred,
Every sprouting sinew of hope and quiet,
And it smothered every breath I took,
Left behind this heaving darkness in,

Hush out the whispers,
Of decaying semblance,
Sit out this noisy charade,
Of hallucinations and dreary consequences,
While the emptiness grips the days,
I wonder how it matters anymore,
My feet whimper,
But they always manage to shiver into a step,
There's always this lonely nook,
To find the same friend,
And another lie to stumble across,
To placate the yearning,
On some days,
I can almost smell the earth,
Six feet beneath the edge,
Another night just went by though,
Hiding away in my head,

Piercing through my window is another dawn,
And it's time again to carry my dishevelled carcass,
Into the farce.