"Vipassana"

As I sit at my desk staring at the blank page in front of me I can’t help but feel scared
Scared of what the next nine days will bring…
But I am my own worst enemy when I let my mind take control over my body
I can’t help but question myself…am I rushing into this too fast?
I intimidate myself…do I really wanna do this?
Leaving home, living on my own, in a strange place without a familiar face.
I know it’s what I need and true to my nature I will succeed
Yet the moments I am alone I fight back tears.
My stomach churns with butterflies that feel like eagles that feed my fears.
How can my heart and desire rage with fire
while my mind portrays them nothing but a liar?
The challenges I shall face I have sought,
Should I have given this a second thought?
College is a perfect fit, it’s all mind games fuck this shit!
Pass or fail, whether I stand tall or I fall
I will blaze my own trail thru this undefined maze
And return refined from the experiences gained.
Though I am scared of what the next nine days brings…
Leaving home, living on my own, in a strange place without a familiar face
With a stomach that churns with butterflies that feel like eagles feeding my fears
I will not let anticipation take turns with fighting back fighting back tears.
This is my life and I am ready to live it!

As I sit at my desk staring at the blank page in front of me I can’t help but feel scared
Sacred at what the next nine days will bring…
I am my own worst enemy when I let my mind take control over my body…
I question myself…am I rushing into this too fast?
I intimidate myself…do I really wanna do this?
Leaving home, living on my own, in a strange place without a familiar face.
In the moment I am alone I let my ears ring with the lyrics of a Macklemore song
Inspiring and reminding me what it means to be me
Out loud I rap the ‘Vipassana’ lines:

“Truth, the only thing that I ever used in moderation
So I stare into this paper instead of sitting at a cubicle
Take all the ugly shit inside and try and make it beautiful
Use the cement from rock bottom and make it musical
So the people can relate to where I’ve been,
Where I’m going, what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard
From the guts fuck the glory
Just a person on a porch putting it all into recording
Many in my past and many that came before me
I just keep walkin’ my path and blessed to share my story”

I am scared but I am ready to attack this challenge
Wherever it takes me, whatever it makes me,

THIS SHIT WILL NOT FUCKING BREAK ME!!!

**Song lyrics from "Vipassana" by Macklemore&Ryan Lewis