Timing Reasons & Seasons

Timing Reasons & Seasons    
   
As I ponder the 3 I sit in expectation of epiphany...    
Everything @ that time for whatever reason for an unknown season    
   
Acceptance...of life & love & truth...serenity    
You can not predict the next event or what will become of the now    
But try not to mourn what has not been lost.. Enjoy life as it comes.    
   
Simple enough...but...    
   
I carry such an animosity for short lived situations    
   
Yet I constantly rush to peak...    
   
Because that small window of ultimate succession consumes me    
   
But the fall downhill afterwards...is like...    
skydiving with no clue to where you'll land...    
like skydiving with no parachute to guide the wind...like...    
   
Why do I sacrifice my sanity knowing the different possible endings.    
   
I guess it's the hopeless romantic in me that expects people I connect with to be like me...    
Or quite possibly it's the fool in me that sees the best in all things...but...    
Perhaps it's just my philosophies of life,,,and love..and pain...    
and how we have to let go to gain    
   
And how "in order for gardens to bloom it's takes the rain" like...    
This shit drives me insane...    
   
When I think about it like...    
Do you really feel me?, like FUCK my left side    
Do you read the right side of my brain?    
   
like do I stand alone while imagining spiritual beings guiding my creativity    
creating rhythms of emotions in song and life that ears can not hear nor eyes can see?    
   
Do you really feel me? Can I speak to you void of word & inspire you to do great things or simply want.  to. try?    
   
Or do you only feel me so that you can fill me and digress from feeling me?    
   
Can you be consumed in anything deeper than this pussy?  
   
On one of many levels you intrigue me    
   
As if we live together in a shared world of vivid thoughts, truth beyond the darkness that surrounds us in this reality of the unknown    
   
As if we are King and equally, willingly, submissively Queen    
   
As if together we can transcend and conquer anything    
   
You speak life but I wonder if I'm the only one who sees    
   
I want to be chosen. To be mentally and holistically desired... To be swept up in your daydream,    
dancing to the tune of synonymous heartbeats    
   
I want to live inside the glow of loves sun and yea I know that it may burn...in your world..It    
encapsulates me...Protects me, if you will...empowers my prowess    
   
Yet sometimes it seems my heart & mind live 2 different lives...    
My mind tells my heart to slow down but my feet can't keep pace    
   
It's like I'm stumbling, running slowly trying to win some race    
   
And it becomes a little much for me    
   
So I sit back, relax, play it low key...listen to lyrical tunes    
   
Smoke a little Black, sip a little Henney or wine...    
Try to be grown..cause shit got me feeling like playing hop scotch in the streets    
   
Enveloped in the idea of you or the essence of you I can not decide    
   
Trying to be still and allow the will of life to develop as I influence and create my own destiny in time    
   
And only in time I know I will see loves true meaning and the limitless possibilities it brings. Yet I rush to it's peak    
   
A hopeless romantic enslaved in the now    
   
Praying to surrender to the deep    
   
Though I know I can not do it alone    
   
Hoping with all hope. Faithful with all faith that this time it could be true    
   
So I give space and time with hopes that it shall bring forth light to see me    
Void of darkness in all my flaws perfectly matched by my courage to proceed and succeed    
   
Perfectly matched by his desire to achieve.