Random rant

Its all an illusion
This moment
We hold them then they slip away
These memories fade
Your eyes your face
There fading away and im ashamed
For your the only reason alive today
That day changed everything for me
Changed me deep internally
Into a diffrent man a diffrent breed
My demons scream at me
Bringing me to a knee
Remembering the horrors
The sins done so easliy 
With no remorse or empathy
But in the end we all start to feel
And bleed remembering monstrosities
They creep and crawl the feelings sickening
Post tramatic dreams infest me
Im suffocating i cant breath
Reach into my soul and squeeze
Kick start my heart please
Im dead inside alone in misery
Somethings gotta change
I need a spark in me
Your eyes would stare at me and help me breath but your gone now and im left to rot in thoughts that decay my soul so slowly and painfully my kindeys bleed
Theres nothing for me ..
Left alone to die in misery