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Forgiving
Therapist: Hello Inaya How are you today?
Me: sitting looking down into my lap my fingers playing with a odd string from the blanket covering my legs
Therapist: from your posture and short answers you seem a little defensive today.
Me: Do I?
Therapist ignoring my statement: I see it was your birthday a few days ago, looks like your sweet 16.
Me: so?
Therapist: did you have a party?
Me: Oh yes! We all went out to the cemetary you know the place where we bury people? Yeah I got to decorate 4 graves it was wonderful.
Therapist: ignoring my sarcasm and confrontational body language
Did you get any presents?
Me:OMG Yes I got some wonderful presents!!
Therapist smiling: you did thats wonderful what did you get?
Me: well lets see a man I had never met before gave me the most wonderful gifts he gave me steel pins in my hip, a really cool wheel chair its my favorite cuz you know I cant walk right yet and omg the best present ever! He gave me wonderful memories of laying on the hot july pavement in the middle of a highway and the gift of so much pain I want to die. But my favorite memory that will always be with me: The memory of looking to my right and seeing all 4 of my friends dead, all but 1. She wasnt quite dead yet even though half of her face was spread on the highway and her right hand was stretched out to me kind of scratching and pounding on the pavement while her feet did this weird little dance all the while shes looking at me no waite she is looking past me, ive wondered what she saw.
Therapist: Its ok Inaya you know you dont have to forgive him.
Me: Really thats wonderful, could i get a glass of water its time for the really neato pain pills i get to take now I have physical therapy in an hour, im glad I dont have to forgive him my anger is the only thing that gets me out of this spiffy chair.
Therapist: you know,
Me: Interupting, thats all for today I want to go home
Therapist: would u like me to call your parents
Me: Please, eyes lowered crying
Therapist stands: and softly says Ok Inaya Ill call your mother
Me: sitting looking down into my lap my fingers playing with a odd string from the blanket covering my legs
Therapist: from your posture and short answers you seem a little defensive today.
Me: Do I?
Therapist ignoring my statement: I see it was your birthday a few days ago, looks like your sweet 16.
Me: so?
Therapist: did you have a party?
Me: Oh yes! We all went out to the cemetary you know the place where we bury people? Yeah I got to decorate 4 graves it was wonderful.
Therapist: ignoring my sarcasm and confrontational body language
Did you get any presents?
Me:OMG Yes I got some wonderful presents!!
Therapist smiling: you did thats wonderful what did you get?
Me: well lets see a man I had never met before gave me the most wonderful gifts he gave me steel pins in my hip, a really cool wheel chair its my favorite cuz you know I cant walk right yet and omg the best present ever! He gave me wonderful memories of laying on the hot july pavement in the middle of a highway and the gift of so much pain I want to die. But my favorite memory that will always be with me: The memory of looking to my right and seeing all 4 of my friends dead, all but 1. She wasnt quite dead yet even though half of her face was spread on the highway and her right hand was stretched out to me kind of scratching and pounding on the pavement while her feet did this weird little dance all the while shes looking at me no waite she is looking past me, ive wondered what she saw.
Therapist: Its ok Inaya you know you dont have to forgive him.
Me: Really thats wonderful, could i get a glass of water its time for the really neato pain pills i get to take now I have physical therapy in an hour, im glad I dont have to forgive him my anger is the only thing that gets me out of this spiffy chair.
Therapist: you know,
Me: Interupting, thats all for today I want to go home
Therapist: would u like me to call your parents
Me: Please, eyes lowered crying
Therapist stands: and softly says Ok Inaya Ill call your mother
Published 25th Jul 2011
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25th Jul 2011 6:39am
lol yep it has baby feels good to finaly print it kinda seems like it wont haunt me now, I think this was so hard because of all the memories it brought back but I guess they were never really gone were they, I mean all the reminders are there, I think the mental scars are the worst because i sit and pick at them mentaly and they never really heal do they?
26th Jul 2011 5:41am
very harrowing read this inaya.
well written and put down. check *waite
my sympathy's go out to you.
shine on!!
well written and put down. check *waite
my sympathy's go out to you.
shine on!!
26th Jul 2011 6:01am
thank you so much and glad u caught my spelling error lol im being honest appreciate all and any constructive feed back..:)
