deepundergroundpoetry.com
bored and inspired
laying on my bed starring at the ceiling
dreaming of crazy shit dreaming of flying and sealing oh man what a wonderful feeling in my mind I'm a God I got people in front of me kneeling
for a brief moment everything is perfect
nigga saying smart shits like his intellect
feel like Jesus resurrect
I love this moments of clarity even though i can see the unfamiliarity but lately my mind been open nigga feeling the flow like beethoven
dreaming of crazy shit dreaming of flying and sealing oh man what a wonderful feeling in my mind I'm a God I got people in front of me kneeling
for a brief moment everything is perfect
nigga saying smart shits like his intellect
feel like Jesus resurrect
I love this moments of clarity even though i can see the unfamiliarity but lately my mind been open nigga feeling the flow like beethoven
Published 14th Aug 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Aug 2016 11:59pm
Enjoyed the flow of this poem pippen98 as I read it aloud, especially the long lines where the words read themselves fast... :-)
A query...did you mean to put the 's' on 'shits'?...and in the last line, should 'this' be 'these' and should 'mind' be 'mind's'...
Welcome to DU...
A query...did you mean to put the 's' on 'shits'?...and in the last line, should 'this' be 'these' and should 'mind' be 'mind's'...
Welcome to DU...
16th Aug 2016 00:19am
"dreaming of flying" yes, I can dig it. But "flying and sealing" ?? What do you mean by "sealing" ??
Anonymous
16th Aug 2016 5:03pm
this poem has a great potential. the first two lines work well. however you could do with breaking up the long lines and sharpening up the text. i struggle with maintaining the sharpness of my poems I usually have one or two good lines and the rest are shit,
