I made you a fucking cake

I’m still in love with the boy with the dark hair and a dark face
don’t think for one second I’d replace adoration with mediocre sex
he told me I was all wrong and for him I wanted to be perfect
for you I was get what you can
while it’s still interested.

Don’t withhold secrets
I can take the lack of love
I don’t care for sweetness
your face when it was sweet fell flat and your
entire body like that of a child fed my fury at my disgust
I’d accessed something less
than I was worth
than I should have accepted

I dream stornoway lyrics, mumbling at work the vague jist
until tears brim and I realise no one has come close until
I recognise the fear I had letting you in
and the happiness to think you know nothing
you don’t fucking know me
confused I think so
I am 200 different people you created none of them
I pretend to orgasm repeatedly
you should learn that girls can tense consciously
congratulations
on being a disappointment
at least I don’t face things half hearted

you were significantly out of your league
and I hope that time reflects
this remote disrespect
I worked with kev and he asked
how you lept from Charlotte to me
and frankly I disagree
that she was weird and you were kind
when in fact I think to date me
you had to be out of your mind

not because I was obscene
but because every second look
that passed our way
was a look of

‘Christ I’d fuck her’
and ‘Jesus is he gay’.