Undeniably Broken

A beautiful wreck
A lovely mess
Whatever the fuck you want to call me.

I am broken.
Crushed.
Scarred.
Flawed.

Simple as that.

And I try to be a good person.
To help.
To heal.
To cleanse.

But lately,
I've been neglecting myself.
Because everyone else seems to not care
About me.
So why should I?

I am not important.
I am not relevant.
I am not meaningful.
I am not significant.
I am not worthwhile.

I am none of the above.

I wish that I could be someone
That people like me care about.
I wish I cared about myself.

But what's the point in loving
Someone who's so fucking defective?

I can't eat.
I can't sleep.
I barely have enough energy
To keep breathing.

And I am stuck.
I am firmly planted in the ground
With no signs of moving forward.

I am rotting away in this body.
I am killing myself
From the inside out.

So do not tell me
It will be alright
Because all I want to do
Is die.

Do you think anyone would notice?
Do you think anyone would care?
If I just ceased to exist,
Do you think they would cry?

If life is so difficult,
Then death should surely be easy

If life is so precious
Then why is it so fucking unpleasant?

If life is a gift,
Then why didn't I get a reciept
Just in case I didn't like it
And wanted to return it?

If I am strong
Then why can't I persevere?

I always thought happiness
Would come from helping others.
But helping others is the reason
My life is chaos.

I tell myself that I'm wrong.
I tell myself to keep going.
But no one else listens to me.
So why should I?

No one listens to a lost cause.
No one loves something that's in disarray.
No one invests in a broken entity.
No one cares about the ones who are misplaced.

So why should I?