The Split

Can't help but to wonder about you while wearing this fake smile, pretending to be happy knowing no one will notice.
Truth is since the split I've been a ghost so to speak, left with this dark cloud over my head, the rest of the world can't see, but I know it's there.
I'm reminded every day upon my wake up in this slump I am not proud of that I call my life.
Sure I have some happiness,  but hell even that's slim these days.
It's so hard to take steps when everything from my past is dragging me down. While it pains me to say it, but the pain of you has heavily weighed what's left of my so called pathetic life down.
I look to smile again in meaningful ways but all I get from that is jail time in a new state.
One in the same reason I left my old life, and old friends behind.
Yeah I guess I'm in search of something new. Those guys were dragging me down as you told me many times over.
I try to keep remnants of our past around, yet there's that darkness again, only this time it has yet another trick, like a leaking battery it's acid erases what little good I've accomplished.
The funniest thing is that the love for things that we shared in the beginning is the same love that destroyed us in the end.
Sure I still crack a smile at some of the stupid shit we've done, more so that you won't be reading the thoughts I ink in remembrance of our fucked up life.
 Maybe one day you'll stumble upon this shit, and my user name but I'm betting it won't be any time soon.
So in the meantime I'll continue using this site as my personal diary, and maybe amuse others..