deepundergroundpoetry.com
For You
If I could paint a rose of love
I would paint it black or blue
For no one thing could poison me
the way in which you do
If I could open up my heart
and allow my love to shine
My heart will cease to beat again
until the day you're mine
It's you who swept me off my feet
and taught me how to fly
So I will fight for you and nothing more
Until the day I die
I would paint it black or blue
For no one thing could poison me
the way in which you do
If I could open up my heart
and allow my love to shine
My heart will cease to beat again
until the day you're mine
It's you who swept me off my feet
and taught me how to fly
So I will fight for you and nothing more
Until the day I die
Published 21st Jul 2011
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Jul 2011 10:30am
21st Jul 2011 10:29am
Introspective and curious, but I want to know more. Roses are red and violets are blue...but there's more to you, I'm certain. Let it flow, don't worry about format, rhyme, meaning, etc...just focus on intent. You'll be fine. Looking forward to your future work. I'm sure it's going to improve by leaps and bounds in the months to come. Keep at it!!
21st Jul 2011 10:45am
The rhyming is very constricting, isn't it? I had never seen that before. You've given me something to reflect on. I think you've become a muse..
22nd Jul 2011 6:29am
That poem really spoke to me. The message was clear, and to the point. I don't think it needs much more honestly. And it's got a funny flow, it works, it's just different. Good job!
