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Memoirs of a Shaman�s Quest

I must write this now,
for I seek to gain insight
on my spiritual quests,
and how this never-ending
journey fits in with me
in everyday life.
I tried to be poetic as
I wrote about that
shamanic journey � and my
encounter with Pan.

Long ago, I journeyed to
a woodland waterfall,
and received a few gifts
from an elven princess of sorts.
The first gift was a gem,
which was diamond like,
which fit into my third-eye;
this followed closely a Starhawk
meditation, in her book: The Spiral Dance.

I waited a couple of months
before I visited her again.
Yet, the next gift I was to receive
would be hard for me to handle.
It was merely an image
that I had seen before
when reading about Rune stones.
It was the Image of Othilla:
Upon reading of this rune stone,
there were a few meanings ---
of these I only remember
two presently ---
Inheritance, and
Separation.

So, here it goes,
where I began;
this is how I met Pan,
and the problems & meaning
I have found in my life,
in the months [& years] to follow.

I took yet another Shamanic Journey,
again to the Woodland waterfall,
yet instead of my elven princess,
this time a strange horned figure
was playing the Pan Pipes.
I knew at once that this fawn
was Pan himself.
He told me of my importance &
How my life actually held meaning,
despite all that I had believed.
That, although I was partially
mistaken in my quest,
there were many truths in what
I had previously believed
&, the wisdom which he spoke unto me,
gave me the hope I had lost & so needed,
to give meaning to my life,
through my spiritual quests & endeavors.
He asked if I was ready
for my cave initiation.
I knew that I was,
so I said, �Yes�.
Thus, he bent his head down
& pressed his horns to my chest,
around my heart area.
Blood poured from my chest & heart
to water the earth.
I stepped behind the waterfall,
And there was my cave.

I looked around, and saw
an underground spring or well,
towards the back of the cave,
Pouring from a statuesque fountain-head.
I turned around,
and I expected Pan to enter
from the waterfall entrance.
Instead, arrived the elven princess,
She who I received
my two previous gifts from.
Entering behind her came Pan,
and almost immediately,
their faces and bodies shifted.
They were all the men
and women of my life
who were my friends �
who had made a major impact
in my spiritual life.
Yet, they were
constantly shape-shifting changelings.
I thus knew that
these were the many different guises
of the Goddess & God,
and that they should be there together
at my cave initiation in the form
of those I am most comfortable around.
Also, this told me that each of these
friends & acquaintances in my life
were all gods & goddesses
in their own way.
They asked me,
�Are you ready for life as a shaman?�
and told me, �It shall be rewarding,
but it won�t be easy.�
�Yes,� I replied, �I am.�