Would You Love Me If I Drew You a Picture?

 
In the bitter-sweet morning
The sun pulls itself off the ground
To push me back inside

Pale from all the seclusion
The sun permeates my skin
With uninvited warmth

I’m not ready to thaw

Frost has been the bandage
For all the burns
The sun left me with
When I thought I was meant to be happy

I’m starting to learn
It’s either sun-poison or frostbite

I can’t live without dying
In every breath

Between the pallid walls
Of my one-room home
I spend my nights
Curled in the corner
Drawing pictures on the wallpaper
So I won’t feel so sad to live here

Would you fall in love with me
If I wasn't so tragic?

Would you kiss me
If I sold you my smile?

For all the days I've spent
Avoiding people
So I could have more time alone
To spend twisting screws
Through my cuticles
Just wishing I could have you

For all the blood I've given
All the stench and stains
Of the altars I've made on my floor
Just wishing I could have you

How many times
Must I carve your name across my chest?

How many words
Must I yell through the tears in my throat?

I keep painting my walls with the scent of my regret

I feed all of my delusions
To the beast
Chained to my bedpost

And how many nights have I spent
Drunk and washed up
On the shores of my own hatred

Yelling at the swarm of stars above me

“Why can’t I get this right?”

Would you love me if I wasn't so tragic?

The best I can do
Is to keep drawing hearts in fogged mirrors
Wondering
Have you ever drawn even one for me?