deepundergroundpoetry.com
My mind
Dark pit's filled with dead bodies mutilated
people killing eachother just for being different,
A black hole in the sky as the sun implodes
why oh why god are you doing this to me?!
I don't like thinking this way but I can't stop it,
my mind spin's out of control with raging thought's of death,
Sometime's I feel like taking the easy way out,
But what would be the point? What would that prove?
I hate my life and every one of you
stop telling me how to live just leave me alone,
Like I said I'll take the easy way out
just leave me here with myself and my gun.
people killing eachother just for being different,
A black hole in the sky as the sun implodes
why oh why god are you doing this to me?!
I don't like thinking this way but I can't stop it,
my mind spin's out of control with raging thought's of death,
Sometime's I feel like taking the easy way out,
But what would be the point? What would that prove?
I hate my life and every one of you
stop telling me how to live just leave me alone,
Like I said I'll take the easy way out
just leave me here with myself and my gun.
Published 19th Jul 2011
| Edited 26th Jul 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jul 2011 9:45pm
I've felt this way quite often myself and use my writing as therapy - it helps to leach the darkness from my soul.
Now for the honest critique: I like your style but a space is needed between each other in the second line. And the word "what" needs to be added in the eighth line as in: But what would be the point? What would that prove?
Now for the honest critique: I like your style but a space is needed between each other in the second line. And the word "what" needs to be added in the eighth line as in: But what would be the point? What would that prove?
26th Jul 2011 12:31pm
Thank You that comment was very helpful and I do appreciate it very much, I always feel better when having some type of support.
