The Cradle

 Bare feet
Flat on ice and cold metal
The moisture in them
Glue-frozen to the iron floor
You are safe
As long as you stand still… don’t move
 
In paintings
Frosted on the walls
Faces distorted
In crystallized glass
Lost
Beneath layers of neglect
 
The great iron chandelier
Hangs high in the center of your entrance hall
Meat strung from its ribs
Preserved in snow
falling bloodstained flakes
 
Pink-snow carpets
Rolled out beneath arches of cold meats
 
Bloody drizzle
Puddles and dull reflections
Of all the things you've killed
 
It’s quiet but for the sound of droplets
Splashing to freeze on your ankles
… To freeze in your hair
 
Can you feel the air?
Tremble
As fatty blood falls in lines
Through your bitter exclusion
 
Can you remember every animal whose throat you cut?
 
You have frozen everything you have taken for yourself
 
You breathe shallow
 
     “All of this was to make things better”
 
That’s the lie you whisper
In your own ear
 
You breathe shallow
 
A demon crawls at the foot of the steps
 
     Scarred
     Scabbed
     Vengeful
 
His eyes are the teeth
Red as the meat you've hung
Gnashing at your flesh
From ten steps below
 
He hates you
 
More than anything
You hate the things you used to love
 
Opposites
Are always so similar
 
Your feet frozen to the floor, he knows
You can’t just walk away from him
 
Slowly, he climbs the stairs
Slowly, like the fear bubbling to the surface
In your throat
 
Raw iciness follows him
 
He creaks as he crawls
He is
The rotten floorboards your iron steps never had
At your feet
He straightens himself
Face to face
 
Under all the scars and scabs
Under all the frozen rot
There is something… familiar
 
 
You grow numb as the vile mouth respires
Frigid breath
That grips your neck with a shudder
 
Is it cannibalism if you eat yourself?
 
In a moment
You will remember
 
Pale red eyes
Ignoring
All the sacrifices you've hung
Focused
Solely
On hating you
 
You wonder why he’s waiting
To kill you
 
Though you can’t elicit the reason of your hatred
You would kill this monster who’s haunted you for so many years
If only you had the strength
 
Then it comes to you like a car wreck
 
More than anything
You hate the things you no longer love
 
And what you loved - more than anything at all - was yourself


 
Underneath all the scars and scabs
Glaring at you
You recognize
A glimmer
Of what you always thought you were
 
Your demonic-reflection, he smiles
A very dead smile
…The one he’s kept hidden away, deep in his soul, just for you
 
 
In his eyes narrow to say “I’m going to kill you now.”
And that’s when you scream
 
Rip your feet from the floor
Skin flayed from the soles
And left as a reminder
Of where you stood
When you decided to run
 
Your feet
Wet with blood
Freeze to the ground with every step
Ice-cauterized and flayed
Until you are running bone to metal
 
Looking back along the balcony
You see bloody footprints
As evidence of how far you've made it
 
… It isn't far
 
Now this
This
Is the part he loves
Patiently
He drags himself
Along your bloody trail
 
Is it cannibalism if you’re eaten by your own reflection?
 
Brain clotted with pride
You would rather kill yourself
Than surrender the pleasure
 
Hands gripped tight and frozen to banister
You taste a vague flavor of compassion
For all the meats you've carved and hung

But your mouth dries  
You swing a leg over and follow it with the rest of your weight
 
 
When you fall
The skin of your hands peels off
Left as a reminder
Of where you were
When you decided to let go

When you collide with the ground
Your rib cage collapses like an old rocking chair
 
In your last blurry moment
Sprawled out
Red-handed but never caught
You watch your demon
Die quietly on the floor
 
The air warms as death opens its arms to cradle you
 
       Meat falls from thawing arches
       Splashing in puddles around you
       As if to cry in comfort