I Hate Being Sober

Lying here alone
Don't even know what time it is
Nothing but soreness between my thighs to remind me to feel
No matter what I do, none of it seems real

I've been counting down
Wishing away the years
Now I can't decide whether I'd rather fast forward, rewind, or freeze
These past few fuck ups have brought me to my knees

I can't remember
Why I started writing tonight
I wish I could forget these people I've met that easily
In and out of my heart and my life they've changed me

I say I'm heartless and cold
But their warmth left imprints
Memories I can't erase with any amount of drugs
Even when this affliction I feel is anything but love