An Innocent Ride

©vessa07DUP2016  
All Rights Reserved  

Every time I saw her coming down the steps in front of her apartment building my breath caught in my chest, even though she was covered from head to toe in my mind I had undressed her many times. Each time we’d talked online or on the phone I tried to keep the conversations short, she was very inquisitive and asked a lot of personal questions; asking things that I had never spoken of and provoking thoughts that I had never even asked myself.  She forced me, in many ways to examine myself and when I turned my focus inward I started to think about what I wanted out of life and sadly thinking I would never get it. In a way she had been the friend I never had, I could talk to her about anything the fact that I was a man and that she was a woman didn’t matter.  She was wise and able to compartmentalize like a therapist so I opened myself up to her without developing a desire to act on my attraction to her.

She was very attractive, this was undeniable…She was tall and athletic, even though I had not seen her body I could tell that her arms were slightly muscular her torso was flat and toned, her thighs were thin from the front and slightly wider from the side solid and powerful transitioning into a thick perky and tight rear-only a few times was I able to notice because she wore lose fitting clothing most of the time. She had vanilla bean colored skin, not ghostly white and not tan, a hue in between the two with a slight pink tone to her face. She had deep blue eyes that changed color to green with a bit of yellow in the center, high cheek bones, and full pinkish tan lips.  She had a thin shapely nose and deep red/brown eyebrows which I always assumed was the color of her hair but I had seen older pictures of her that showed that she had a short deep red curly style. She walked a bit mannish and talked aggressively but not obnoxious and she was very intense, she teetered on the border of inappropriate sometimes but she did so in a way that made people feel she was studying and/or testing them rather than flirting or insulting. One of the downsides of a woman covering herself is that a man inevitably must use his imagination, and I had imagined her in many ways, one of the disadvantages of being a male is that even though I may not act upon my urges I still have them. She did stir feelings in me, things that I have felt before for other women and have never acted upon, she was young and in some ways immature but I enjoyed her from a distance and planned on staying friends.

Most men don’t admit how difficult it is to be friends with a woman that we are attracted to, the internal struggle between our impulses and thoughts versus our principles and values. We all strain with these challenges and it is the strength of our maturity and convictions that makes us successful or not. Men in my culture have perfected controlling their cravings through fasting, prayer and at times isolation, this inclination to deny such things rather than giving into them makes us more disciplined and methodical.  Our passions are not displayed outwardly because they must be contained to avoid problems, even privately with those we can be passionate with we sometimes are unable to let down our guard completely.  We play sports and hang out with our male compatriots and rarely are we able to have anything but a professional relationship with those from another gender. I have had many female friends in my life but kept them at a specific length from myself, setting clear boundaries and distancing myself when needed.

She was unlike these other women in many ways, she was not from this culture and did not understand many of these limitations so setting boundaries was even more difficult. She had a history even in her own culture of penetrating male dominated spaces and she was able to navigate within those spaces without forcefully asserting her femininity, she was aggressive and feminine but not aggressively feminine, she blended in with the guys in all ways but her physical appearance which she covered and protected so as not to tempt us. I would not have sought out a friendship with her, but am glad that we have become friends. Even though I feel tested by her curiosity-her personal questions, and her academic/examining nature-she is equally moral and respectful. She knows that when

I distance myself that she is probing into delicate and intimate subjects that I am uncomfortable revealing.
It is on this night that both of our fortitudes will be tested more than ever before, and that balance between being a friend and submitting to our base nature will be challenged. It started out like any other, I got to her place and she came out the door wearing a long-sleeved maroon maxi dress and even though it was a simple dress it was form-fitting hugged her torso and hips, and fell off her mid rear. It had a scoop neckline at the nape of her neck and hugged her body loosely, her veil was pulled behind her face and gathered into a side ponytail falling off her right shoulder with tassels hanging off the bottom ending mid-breast. Arabesque silver hoop earrings hung down mid-neck and dangled back and forth as she walked. Her wrists were covered by the sleeves of the dress which extended to the middle of her hand as if she were wearing fingerless gloves, her fingernails were manicured, and she wore a fitbit watch on her right hand and a silver charm bracelet on her left, the charms moving back and forth as she waved. The dress hung seamlessly down her body with no creases indicating undergarments as if she were only wearing the dress itself, a tantalizing thought.  Even though she was modestly covered from head to toe it was hard to look at her and not perceive her natural simple beauty.

Most would say ‘it was hard to look away,’ but on this night it was even harder to look at her and so I turned to look ahead at the traffic as she bent and leaned her body gracefully to get in the car. I faltered for a moment once I gathered myself and turn my head to the right and smiled at her issuing a pleasant greeting, I extended my hand which she grasped affably, held for a moment, and squeezed… soft palm, long fingers, strong grip and then released and I exhaled. We exchanged pleasantries on the way to our friends she got enjoyment out of provoking, taunting and teasing me, talking a big game and being feisty. She beams when she gests and when she succeeds at getting a rise out of someone.  We got to the café and the comradery of the others relaxed me and brought me out of my thoughts.

We started the card game and when she had a good hand she always glances over at me and grins slyly, I can’t help but smile back at her but I wish she wouldn’t look at me, she didn’t wear much make-up her eyelashes were long and brown and when she closed them there was a sweep of gold sparkle on her lids which complimented the green gold glint her eyes. I looked away again and focused on the game talking with my friends and trying not to notice her. The shisha arrived and the whole table began to be immersed in silver fumes of mint and apple and the game rolled on.  When she got a good hand she played with the shisha lay in her mouth rolling it with her tongue behind her teeth and slightly pinching the pipe between her forefinger and thumb tapping it with her pinky to the sound of the music, occasionally smiling with it in her mouth her scrutinizing eyes half open and eyebrows slightly raised. She blew billowing clouds through her mouth and nose the fumes caressing her chest and veil so that she smelled like mint and vapors. The hours stretched by and I strained to keep my focus, she was particularly playful tonight not talkative but had an assorted range of provocative facial expressions.  She was wearing headphones and kept swaying to the beat in her ears completely oblivious to the attention that she was drawing from other guys in the café, not to mention my own.

The night drew to a close around 11:30 and everyone split up the bill, doing the math in my head provided a needed distraction. I don’t know what was different about tonight and why I was finding it so hard to maintain composure, I had tried everything I could think of to distract myself and it seemed like everything that happened was arduously enticing. She stood up from the table stretching slightly and I looked away as much as I could, fiddling with my jacket. We walked to the car with respectable space in between us and once we got in I turned on the ignition eager to drop her off and get home. We got to her building and I usually wait in the car until she gets inside, she thanked me for the ride got out and closed the car door looking back at me.  She walked up a few steps and then tripped on her right heel, I reacted instinctively seeing her lying on the step trying to get up, and jumped out of the car and hurried over to her. I knelt down beside her as she clutched her ankle, she said she was fine and tried to reassure me that she could get to the apartment but it would not be proper for me to let her go up the flights of stairs alone. I locked the car and she appreciatively lifted her left arm for me to help her up.

I leaned down and wrapped my left arm under hers and took her by the waist on the opposite side holding her extended arm with my right hand and we rose from the step. The close proximity to her was both burdensome and pleasurable, we slowly scaled the stairs to the entrance door where she asked to pause and adjusted her grip on my hand, she wasn’t leaning on me which I was grateful for it would have her abdomen even closer to mine. She was light and her stomach was tight and solid and I could feel her abs contracting beneath my fingertips, each step was wrenchingly challenging-not physically but mentally.  I didn’t realize that being this close to her would be so tantalizing. We got the first landing and she once again shifted herself in my arms and swung her veil to the opposite side wafting the mint shisha vapors into my nostrils and I breathed deeply and closed my eyes trying once again to compose myself. We made it to the second floor where her apartment was; she reached into her clutch for the keys and unlocked the door. I pushed it open with the fingertips on my right hand and guided her inside.  The apartment was dark and just my luck no one was home, she shifted in front of me which took me by surprise until I saw the light come on and her hand out stretched towards the switch. She swiveled back into position and I steered her into the sitting area and sat her on one of the dining room chairs.

I left the door open because propriety dictated so and because it relieved some of the pressure I was feeling knowing that anyone could come in.  She once again assured me that she was fine and could manage alone, however, it would not have been decent for me to leave without making sure she was fine. She pointed to the kitchen where I walked to get an ice pack from the freezer, I returned into the room and she was trying to take her shoe off, I knelt down and brushed her hands aside unzipped the boot under which were sheer stockings. Her foot rested into my hand and she indicated that her stockings were attached from higher up her leg, I bit my bottom lip and turned my back to her but stared in the glass of her china cabinet. She unclipped the stocking from the garter and rolled it down her leg and off her toes.  Also pedicured, creamy white and petite her feet were as adorable as the rest of her. She leaned back in the chair and I applied the ice pack to her ankle clasping her foot with my left and gently pressing the ice with my right. She winced and I instinctively apologized looking up at her, I intuitively fondled her foot with my left hand fingers to soothe her and she smiled down at me still wincing. I looked down at my hands holding her foot and for a moment imagined myself moving my hand upward. She interrupted my thoughts by thanking me and suggested she move to the couch elevate her foot and then I could go and she could just move when her foot went numb from the ice.

I agreed anxiously thinking to myself the sooner I got out of there the better. I put the ice pack down, got up on my knees to help her up, slowly stood, and raised both my hands to her waist. I rotated my wrists and gripped her lower back with the finger tips on both hands, my thumbs clenching her front hip bones and lifting her towards me…my mind once again magnetically pulling me towards fantasy.  She placed her arm once again over my shoulder and I swiveled to her side and directed her towards the couch. I could tell it was painful for her because the muscles in her abdomen were tightening and her grip on my shoulders intensified, despite resisting she couldn’t avoid leaning on me more.  We got to the couch and she rotated herself in front of me slipping on her ankle once again and I caught her under her shoulders before she fell and I lowered her and myself, in tandem, her slowly down to the couch surface and myself to the coffee table in front of her. I released my grip under her arms and pulled my hands towards myself grazing the side of her breasts inadvertently. Once I leaned back I noticed that she had a tear slowly dropping down her cheek from the pain and without thinking I brought my hand up to her face, the tip of my thumb catching the tear just under her cheek bone and the rest of my fingers clasping her face, the tip of my fingers brushing the edge of her veil. She quivered, startled by my act, and looked up into my eyes. I was astonished by my own reflexes and yet I did not remove my hand from her face I was frozen with both alarm and desire. She looked deeply into my eyes and I didn’t see that she was in pain instead I felt her gaze hang onto me…

You write the story…… what will he do next?