Alone In A Crowded Room

Alone in a crowded room
Seen and heard but ignored
Hateful whispers in my head
Always be a third wheel
To be chosen second is fate
Wrestling with self identity
Don't be too loud
You'll hurt him
Don't say that
You'll break her heart
Don't show affection
You'll offend them
How can I be me
When me seems to be
The furthest from what's desired
My appetites are wanton
My fantasies are craven
My needs unfulfilled
Because I can't give
What she so desperately desires
How can I be hers
When she doesn't listen
How can I fuck a child
That's how I see her
Adult in body
Juvenile in action
Which makes her touch
A cold shiver down my back
She won't accede to request
"Oh I forgot" the usual refrain
Self depreciating giggle
And it goes on the same
The"wilting flower" complex old
Fits when her will is subverted
He gives in too easily
Bows down to pressure
Where is my Precious
Where is his spine
He doesn't see what I do
His mind wrapped too tightly
Around his own beliefs
Though everyone else can see
He tries so hard
Though it shouldn't be just him
Over qualified for the job
So no one hires him
His depression is worsening
It shows more day by day
I feel it as a physical weight
He lies and says he's happy
I see the pain and worry
I feel the depression and stress
He thinks he can hide from me
What a laugh
I know it as my own
There is also them
The power over property
The millstone around our necks
Can't they see his agony?
Every movement suffering
Yet he must do more
We must visit or hell to pay
Whilst there listening to
The back biting that makes her day
Hearing about how things
Work in HER world
Alone by choice
Miserable in her self made prison
Wasted talent, malcontent
Maybe I'm delusional
To believe in happiness
Crave fulfillment
Dry as a desert
Lost in this new world
Where others make the choices
Living on borrowed life
Surviving on the minimum
I'd rather struggle and be happy
Than have everything
And be a slave