REVELATION

You were the one who taught me how to come.....
You don't know this

I played it cool
(though not while in the throes of it, then I LOST control)
But I like you thinking I'm more normal than I am
That I'm a prize
You think YOU'RE the weird one!

Hah!

I act like I'm the expert
on rubbing one out...
and well, I am, now,
after nine months of furious practice!
once a day, twice a day, three times...

But it was you who taught me one night, that night after I went with you to buy weed from "your boy"
and you grabbed my ass when the deal went through to express your joy
and I said "don't grab my ass in front of anyone...even if it's just your drug dealer..."
And you said sorry

Then we went to whole foods, as per usual,
and made pasta
and I slept over, but you said no hanky panky, cuz you were sick
and you meant it...
except that you sanitized your hands, and leaned over and reached down my pants and breathed in my ear
and rubbed it out
and I climaxed oh I climaxed I climaxed I climaxed

And then it was HOLY SHIT SO THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT???
a revelation

but like said, I played it cool,
didn't want you to know I was late to the game...
hadn't figured it out with previous partners....
So yea I played it cool
And I continue to do...

You caused my revelation... that day and on so many more
so many clicks went into place for me because of you
and quenchings of desires I didn't even know I had

You've been really fucking important
irreplaceable
But
I know you are not forever
most fist explosive sexual revelation partners aren't, I guess?

How to hold these two truths simultaneously and also at the same time still be with you?

I guess I better kneel down and thank the universe
for the incredible human capacity to hold many conflicting realities

You are the one that washed my world with pleasure,
thank you thank you!
And also, I know that you and me aren't going to be forever.