deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bullet
i wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
the last thing to go through my head
and now your memories are dead
now i lay me down to sleep
and i hope i die before i wake
and if i cannot be a sucess, i pray no less my soul to rest
so no more pain my soul will take
i've been and labled disabled
by your society
but now i'm enabled
to be strong
tonight i start the fire
i break from everything
i know you're a liar
at night i feel like a vampire
haunt my sleep i just can't give you up
pick up the pieces of the hearts that you shattered
now use the sharp edges to stab like a million daggers
i lay here in tranced as i wait for my chance
to escape from your love my heart pierced by a lance
so they'd know you were the last thing
the last thing to go through my head
and now your memories are dead
now i lay me down to sleep
and i hope i die before i wake
and if i cannot be a sucess, i pray no less my soul to rest
so no more pain my soul will take
i've been and labled disabled
by your society
but now i'm enabled
to be strong
tonight i start the fire
i break from everything
i know you're a liar
at night i feel like a vampire
haunt my sleep i just can't give you up
pick up the pieces of the hearts that you shattered
now use the sharp edges to stab like a million daggers
i lay here in tranced as i wait for my chance
to escape from your love my heart pierced by a lance
Published 27th Nov 2009
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27th Nov 2009 8:30am
this first stanza
"I wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
to go through my head"
So heavy!
"I wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
to go through my head"
So heavy!
28th Nov 2009 1:09am
28th Nov 2009 4:32am
29th Nov 2009 10:58pm
"now i lay me down to sleep
and i hope i die before i wake"
sounds to me like you molded an old prayer into something much darker, love it.
"i wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
the last thing to go through my head"
a play on words? excellent. the raw anger coming off these words are intense.
and i hope i die before i wake"
sounds to me like you molded an old prayer into something much darker, love it.
"i wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
the last thing to go through my head"
a play on words? excellent. the raw anger coming off these words are intense.
2nd Dec 2009 00:20am
i love how heavy and deep this is.
"I wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
to go through my head"
looove it. : )
"I wrote your name on a bullet
so they'd know you were the last thing
to go through my head"
looove it. : )
1st Aug 2010 5:51am
your first lines are blowin me away, thats some heavy imagery. perfect.
5th Oct 2010 5:20am
31st Mar 2011 12:21pm
I thought I'd jump straight to the self-confessed masterpiece. Well, the kids certainly love it don't they! Again, good sir, your ideas are all cliche, try and work on completely new ways of putting down your imagery.
23rd Jun 2011 11:39am
well there are few things that haven;t been done before. but ypu surely can't deny the mastery of the first stanza or even the idea to remodel a prayer. and i've read some of your stuff. most of it is just cheap synopsises not even writen or the unfoldin
23rd Jun 2011 11:40am
well there are few things that haven;t been done before. but ypu surely can't deny the mastery of the first stanza or even the idea to remodel a prayer. and i've read some of your stuff. most of it is just cheap synopsises not even writen or the unfolding of a story of your own. but if i missed somethin please point me in the direction of how a true poet writes
