The Fake Writer's Poem

By: Julia San Jose
I was sitting here on the couch    
and kept on saying "What have I done?"  
Being unconscious for a little, my heart pumped faster and faster  
as I realized that they have already recognized the dishonesty I've written..  
Sadness flows but never got out,  
guilt runs through my veins and it was locked in too.  
Those fake words that were composed by my hand was once trusted    
but karma came and opened their eyes to see    
what is real and what is the counterfeit.  
I can't stop the voices of fear inside me from shouting,  
"You are a great pretender, dear. You are such a deciever".  
My mind and soul were invaded by terror and anxiety  
which came from the ruthless self of mine.  
Will people who trusted me before can return  
their faith in me that was once ruined?  
Even though everything was fleeced  
the confused heart of mine has the thought of me writing.  
"Write yourself a poem about your clanger"  
I somehow got the feeling to follow what my heart says  
so I stretched my hand and reached the pen that was calling to me  
I started to form words that eventually turned into verses.  
But in the middle of the work,  
my thoughts began to betray me and make me doubt who I am.  
I set aside those thoughts and started writing.  
Minutes had passed, at last the composition was done!  
But in some ways, I question my work  
Maybe they won't believe that the one who wrote this poem  
is actually writing from the bottom of her heart...  
that the one who wrote this poem was described by the fake journalist herself.